What Do You Say To Your Ex Girlfriend?

In order to get back together with your ex, you'll need to eventually make some type of positive exgirlfriend contact. A huge percentage of men falter at this step however, and don't know the right things to say. Making mistakes here can damage your chances of getting your ex back, so you should know in advance how to handle it when talking to your ex.

Calling Your Ex Girlfriend

Contact Ex Girlfriend Basics

In an ideal world, your ex girlfriend will call you. She'll be missing you, wanting you back, and phoning you to tell you what a huge mistake she made by breaking up. For any guy who's been dumped, this is your biggest fantasy. Unfortunately though, it's not going to go down that way... unless you take steps toward making it happen.

Yes, it's true - there are definite ways to make your ex call you. Even if things look hopelessly lost right now, you screwed up big in past conversations, or she's not even taking your calls... somewhere out there is a magical combination of things you can do and plays you can make that will make your ex want to call you up. Or even better, need to call you.

Getting Your Exgirlfriend To Call You

So what's the magic formula for getting your ex to pick up the phone? Well, it'll be a little different for each situation, but a few things will always be the same: Need. Loneliness. Curiosity. These are the emotions you must instill into your ex in order to get her dialing your numbers. And the tricky part? You have to do it without her knowing that you did it. Which means you have to make some very subtle magic happen behind the scenes. To get your ex girlfriend interested enough to want to contact you again, you'll have to gingerly place those feelings in her mind without doing anything directly. Because as soon as you come off as trying to get her back with you, your cover is blown.

Time & Space... and Why It's So Important to Reconcilation

Breaking up is a tremendously difficult thing for most people, because the person who got dumped won't always be thinking rationally. It's easy to want to call your ex all the time, speak your mind, tell her what you're feeling and why it's important to keeping your relationship alive. The trouble is, when you do something like that you're not really taking your ex's feelings into consideration. You're being selfish in a way: by opening the floodgates of your heart and soul, you're literally drowning her with stuff she probably doesn't want to hear right now. Because in the days and weeks after breaking up with you, your ex just wants some space.

90% of men won't give their girlfriends that space, and that's why they'll fail. They'll be thinking and acting on the fly, and because of that, these women get even more annoyed. As the men push for answers and try to convince their ex's to reverse the break up, they're shoving their girlfriends that much further away. And what's worse, these women don't miss their ex boyfriends one bit. Instead of sitting alone thinking about their decision, worrying if they made the right one, and missing the guys they broke up with... they're fending off unwanted calls and emails of their own.

Putting Your Ex In The Mood To Hear From You

Creating an environment in which your ex girlfriend misses and thinks about you is crucial to winning her back. This is as easy as leaving her completely alone. She wanted a break up? No problem. She wants some space? Time apart? Give her more than she needs. The simple fact is this: most girls who break up with you want you to go away... but not completely away. They still want to see what you're doing, know that you miss and want them, and still be "around" in case they change their minds. This is the most comfortable form of break up: one that's one-sided.

When you know you can get your ex back at any time, you've got no incentive to fix your break up.

For this very important reason, you need to take that comfortable feeling away from your exgirlfriend as quickly as possible. The one sure way to do that is to not call her, email her, or text-message your ex. Even more important: don't answer her phone calls, and don't respond to any emails or messages she leaves you. Drop out of sight, out of mind, and out of your girlfriend's life completely.

Once you've done this, results will happen rather quickly. Your ex will first wonder where you went, and then wonder what happened to you. She'll ask herself why you've disappeared so suddenly, and she'll question why you don't seem interested in pursuing her anymore. Girls love to be chased - even after they dump you. When you don't make that effort to go after them, they question how much you really needed them in the first place (which shakes their confidence) and whether or not you've moved on with your life (which rattles their comfort zone).

No girl wants to break up with a guy and see him immediately go out and start having fun without her, possibly even start dating someone else right away. But when she doesn't hear from you, this is what she'll think. And fear. And worry about.

As time goes on and she still hasn't heard from you, your ex will get extremely curious. She'll start thinking of an excuse to contact you, under some pretense that's designed solely to figure out what you're up to. This is when your phone call will come. And when it does, you need to be ready for it.

What To Say To Your Ex Girlfriend When She Calls You

There are a few easy ground rules for the exgirlfriend phone call. The first one: don't be nervous. A simple trick to combat nervousness is to grab something to eat while talking to her. Chewing on something while speaking to your ex will always make you seem somewhat distracted, which is always good. You want to immediately give your ex the feeling that she interrupted you doing something by making that phone call.

You also want to keep that first call very short - three minutes is probably too long. Find out what she wants, make a little small talk, and then make an excuse to go. This adds to any insecure feelings she might have about you getting on with your life and not really caring about her anymore.

Below is a great example of how to talk to your ex when she calls:

"Hey, how's it going? What's up?"

At this point your ex girlfriend will have to tell you why she called. The excuse could be anything - but it doesn't really matter. Let her make it, and follow up with a little small talk. Ask how she is, maybe how her family is, etc... but don't get overly involved in small talk. When your ex asks questions about what you've been doing, be extremely vague. And then end the call with something like:

"Listen, sorry to cut you short but I've gotta run. It was great to hear from you again. If you want to talk some more, give me a call next week or something - but this week's pretty shot for me. Cool?"

A call like this accomplishes several things. By ending the call yourself, you've maintained total control of the conversation. By being vague, she's wondering what you're doing... and moreover, why it's more important than her. Your ex did not expect you to rush her off the phone, and that's a good thing. It'll make her more curious than ever about your new life, and how little a role she seems to play in it.

The end of the call is good too, because you've given her the option to contact you again. Notice that you didn't offer to call her - you told her to call you. This puts you in a position of power for the next call... and she'll definitely make that phone call because you left her even more curious than before. Also, you told her to get back to you after next week - which will have her wondering what the hell you're going to be busy with all week long. . . especially since you didn't tell her.

Your approach to your ex girlfriend's phone call should have a nonchalant, care-free attitude to it. You should act as if she interrupted you, but not like she's bothering you. Like you're happy to hear from her, but not overwhelmed with joy. And when you tell her to get back to you next week, it's not like you're counting on it. It should sound almost as if you don't care whether or not she calls back. Which will, of course, get your ex to call you back.

Communicating With Your Ex - Keeping Her Interested

Beyond that initial phone call, your goal will be to make your ex more and more interested in you. Over time, curiosity turns to longing - especially when she thinks she might be losing you for good. Eventually this will have your ex questioning her decision to break up with you. That's when your girlfriend will want you back - and best of all she'll come back to you thinking the whole thing was her idea.

There are several other things you can do to accelerate the process of getting back together. Read all about them at The Magic of Making Up.

Clicking the above link will take you to a really great introductory video where you'll learn some nice opening moves that will start you on the path toward getting your girlfriend back.

And when you're ready, learn what to do when Meeting Up With Your Exgirlfriend.

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