Top Five Things That Will Make Your Ex Want You Again
If you've lost your girlfriend, chances are you did something that caused her to lose interest. If you wronged her, you already know you need to make it right. But if your ex dumped you and you're still not exactly sure of the reason... you might've just lost that edge you had when you first started dating.
There are a number of traits that women find universally attractive in men, and some are more important than others. The more of these behaviors you exhibit, the more attracted girls will be to you in general. Some of them are learned behaviors, while others are bred into your personality over years of development. By examining them one by one, you might be able to see which ones your exgirlfriend saw in you when the two of you first began seeing each other. Those were the ones that captured her interest.
If some of these personality traits have worn off, that might be a bit part of why your ex was no longer satisified with the relationship. Getting your ex back might be as easy as turning some of these switches back 'on' again.
Let's start with the biggest one: confidence. All girls want a guy who's strong and driven, not weak and reserved. A man who's confident will take charge in most situations; a man who has confidence in himself will always know what to do. This takes a lot of pressure off a girl - she can lay back and exhibit more traditionally female traits while letting you handle the unknown. Confidence is attractive and sexy, and women will always hold it in high regard.
When a girl breaks up with you, it's very easy to lose your self-assuredness - especially in the case where you're not exactly sure why your relationship ended. As you become unsure of yourself you begin exhibiting more and more doubt and uncertainty. You're no longer authoritative, and become more passive in the approach you take with your ex. As she realizes this she may take advantage of it, or she might be turned off by your lack of conviction. Getting your confidence back can be tough, but the simple fact is you'll need lots of it if you want to win back your girlfriend.
Don't allow your breakup to shatter your confidence. Stay true to your feelings and you can always be sure of yourself. Even if you're inwardly questioning something, outwardly you need to remain cool and collected. Girls want to see these things in a guy, and if you're trying to get your exgirlfriend to date you again she's going to need to know you still have it.
One last thing: don't confuse confidence with arrogance. Women love a guy who's self-effacing, imperfect, and who can laugh at himself. You can be all of those things and still be confident. So don't let your ego take over and put on some lame, macho show. That kind of thing turns everybody off.
One of the most important aspects of creating attraction is actually liking the person who you are. If you don't love and respect yourself, it's tough to get others interested in you also. Respect is something you might not think about much, and always thought you had. But after a girl dumps you? Respect can disappear very quickly.
Did you plead with your girlfriend not to break up with you? How about begging? Did you cry, write her sappy love notes, send her cards, flowers, chocolates... any of that? Did you call your ex fifteen times a day, send her text-messages every half hour, fill her email inbox or answering machine with a bunch of unreturned messages?
If you committed any of the above atrocities, you should first read this. Your biggest mistake (and the reason why you're failing) is that you've chipped away at whatever respect your girlfriend had for you. Now that she's your exgirlfriend, earning back that respect becomes monumentally important. No girl is going to want to date you again if you're a sobbing, miserable wreck. And no woman wants to be with a guy who's willing to lay down and give her anything she wants, whenever she wants it, just for the sake of dating him. You can't love someone you don't respect.
3) Drive and Ambition
Women want to see that you're on the right track - that you've got hopes and dreams of things to come. If you've got plans for your own future, a girl is much more likely to hook her wagon to your star. Someone who's driven and ambitious is always more attractive than someone who's laid back, lazy, and not concerned with where they're going.
If you've become very comfortable in your relationship, your job, your home life... sometimes you can become overly so. This leads to a lack of ambition, and less of a desire for anything new. Girls seem to love change a lot more than guys do, and they're always seeking new adventures. If you haven't been leading your exgirlfriend on those adventures, odds are good she thinks you're taking her for granted.
Rediscovering your inner ambitions can make you very attractive to women. If you suspect your ex hasn't been satisified with your situation lately, let her know you're moving in the right direction by getting up and making moves toward the things you want to accomplish. An object in motion stays in motion... and once you get going, you're going to generate a lot of interest from your ex girlfriend again.
Women hate men who are wishy-washy. Guys who have trouble making decisions often end up alone, while men who aren't afraid to plan and execute usually end up having someone to do things with. Decisiveness can go a long way toward making an exgirlfriend want you again, especially if it was something you seemed to have lost during the later stages of your relationship.
While it's nice to consider your partner's thoughts and feelings, sometimes you just have to make decisions yourself and go with them. This trait is important because once again it takes a lot of pressure off the female half of a relationship. If your ex was always making the decisions, chances are she was constantly questioning whether she'd picked ones that made you happy. Having a boyfriend who's indecisive can get exhausting, and it's not an attractive behavior.
5) Fun and Happiness
Yes, it's really that simple. Dating should be fun... and if it's not, there's really no reason to continue. Guys and girls often lose sight of this, and it leads to some very boring relationships. Think about it: how many couples do you know right now that are just hanging in there, bored to tears, not really happy but not terribly unhappy either? Probably a lot.
Sometimes people hang onto things just for the sake of having them. These relationships are hollow shells of what they once were, back when the two participants had the fun and excitement of a shiny new romance.
It's entirely possible that you just didn't make your ex happy anymore, or (and this is important) that she didn't think she was making you happy. In both cases the relationship becomes more of a chore than anything else. The two of you get together each weekend out of obligation... go to the same old spots... do the same old things. Nothing really changes, nothing really improves.
If your relationship lost it's original spark, you're not alone - most of them do. But it's what you do after the spark is gone that determines whether you can keep your girlfriend happy. There are lots of ways to keep things exciting and making your girl feel like an important, vibrant part in your life. Some of the coolest ideas for rekindling old romance can be found here - and they can really make the difference when trying to win your ex back into a relationship with you.
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