Things To Say When Your Girlfriend Catches You Cheating
When you get caught cheating, you'll want to turn back the hands of time. As your girlfriend rages against you and the emotions fly, you'll begin looking for ways to undo what you did. The bad news is that you can't. But the good news is that you can minimize the damage by saying all the right things, and by not saying the wrong ones.
If you haven't already done so, read our guide on winning her back when you cheated. It details the step-by-step process of what to do if your girl breaks up with you over cheating, and how to get back in her good graces. Knowing when to talk and when to shut up can be crucial to her accepting all the things you say, including your apology.
Beyond that, the following list of quotes is designed to give you a good idea of how to talk to your now ex-girlfriend after she dumps you for sleeping with another girl. If you love her and want her back, you'll first make sure the cheating is over. Trying to get back together with your exgirlfriend while you're still messing around behind your back can be pretty low. We've all wondered whether or not the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, and some of us have jumped over and rolled around in it. But that's no excuse to try and patch things up while you're still being unfaithful.
She Caught You Sleeping Around - The Initial Apology
When your girlfriend finds out you've been with another person, she's going to rage for a while. Some women will demand to know what happened, how long it's been going on, and what you've been doing with this other girl. Others won't want to hear from you at all. Remaining silent during the angry break-up portion of this mess is always a good idea, but somewhere in there you'll need to squeeze in an apology. Make it short, make it quick, and make it feel like you're being true to your feelings:
"Listen honey, I'm soo, soo sorry. I was wrong, and I can't believe I hurt you like this. I wish I could take it back, but I can't. . . and I don't blame you for hating me. Please know that I'm very, very sorry".
In the above approach, you've accepted full responsibility for what you did. You didn't try to explain why it happened, or make any excuses for it. You didn't defer blame onto anything else, including your current relationship. On top of this, you didn't try to work your own feelings in there - only that you felt sorry.
Right now your girlfriend doesn't want to hear how "badly" you feel. So avoid telling her stuff like "I feel terrible that this happened" or "I'm miserable without you". She's concerned with her own emotions right now, and the last thing she wants to hear about is whether or not your feelings are hurt. Steer clear of that mistake.
One other thing you want to make clear right away is that this is an error you won't ever be repeating. Whether your ex believes you or not is irrelevant - she needs to hear that cheating on her was a one-time thing, and that you'll never do it again. The best way to accomplish this is to keep it simple:
"I know what I did was wrong, and I wouldn't do it again in a million years. I'm sorry it happened, but it will never happen again."
Your ex will scoff at these words now, but later on when she's trying to process everything you said? She'll actually be glad you said them. They do mean something to her, especially if she still loves you.
After The Apology - Let The Break Up Resolve Itself
The big mistake most guys make at this point is that they let their girlfriend calm down a bit, and then try to talk them out of the break up. This never works, because your ex hasn't even begun punishing you yet. How can you ask her not to break up with you when your infidelity hasn't even fully registered? The answer is you can't.
Don't rush things right now. You need to let your girlfriend get out everything she needs to - whatever rage and anger she has is well warranted. Allow her to vent, and take everything she gives you short of a physical beating. If she goes that route, it's always time to leave.
At the same time though, don't stick around too long. You've said your peace, and you've let her vent. When she finishes telling you how totally through she is, nod your head silently and walk away. As you leave, reiterate a shorter version of the apology along with a small measure of agreement:
"You're right. I want you to know how sorry I am, and I totally understand."
That last phrase will actually worry your girlfriend a little bit, as you leave. Are you leaving for good? Are you accepting the break up? Will you go back to seeing that other girl again? These questions will flash through her mind, both now and later on when the anger subsides. Your ex won't know what to think, but given time she'll begin asking herself just how permanent she wants the break up to be.
• Don't tell your ex you'll call her later
• Don't ask your exgirlfriend to call you tomorrow
• Don't email your ex, or text message her, or contact her in any way
Leaving your girlfriend alone, to her own thoughts, is the best and fastest way to resolve the post-cheating break up. Any attempts to push her into contact before she's ready will always fail. Walk away, and let her be.
Things Not To Say After You Get Caught Cheating
When your girlfriend's done being angry, her next move will be to beat as many answers out of you as possible. She'll want to know who this other woman is, how many times you've seen her, and when the whole affair really began. Some girls will even demand certain other details: times, places, and even sexual descriptions of the things you did when you cheated on her.
To appease her, you might be tempted to answer every one of these questions... and this would be a really bad move. Each thing you say from this point on will be recorded, duly noted, and thrown back in your face during future arguments. Years from now you could still be together, and your girlfriend could still be using this ammunition to shoot at you whenever she's mad. It's unhealthy for you, and for her, to know all the gory detail of your cheating.
Minimizing The Damages - Getting Her Over Your Affair
As much as I don't condone lying, there's nothing wrong with downplaying certain aspects of your infidelity. Don't lie to her about what happened: you cheated, and you should sincerely apologize. But you can certainly minimize the amount of cheating in order to save her feelings. You can't make stuff up that she won't believe, like:
"I totally didn't enjoy it. I hated it. You're so much better than her, baby."
But you can skew things in a more positive direction by saying:
"I knew it was wrong the moment it happened. I was guilty immediately, and I actually felt sick when it was over. I'd never do it again."
By keeping things vague and by downplaying the details, you're appeasing her incurable curiosity to know what happened by giving her answers she can live with. While you're not making excuses for cheating on her in any way, you're at least letting her know that the girl you were with meant nothing to you... then or now. This will help your ex realize that the process of getting you back will be that much less complicated, because you're not harboring feelings for this other woman.
Other Things To Say After Being Unfaithful
Putting yourself in your ex girlfriend's shoes after an affair can go a long way toward understanding what she wants to hear from you. And don't just find these answers and regurgitate them back to her; understand why she needs to hear them. A big part of winning your ex back involves synching up again. Getting on the same vibe. Really putting yourself next to her first, so when you put an arm around her she knows that you're really there.
Some of the best techniques for reconcilation after cheating can be found here. You need to understand the art of aligning yourself for success... placeing yourself in a position that will get results before actually doing anything. Making a move without a plan is the fastest way to drive your girl in the opposite direction.
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- What To Do If Your Ex Just Wants To Be Friends
- How To Win Your Ex Back If You Cheated On Her
- 5 Things That Will Make Her Want You Again
- Telltale Signs That Your Ex Wants You Back
- How To Wipe The Slate Clean After Cheating
- Making Your Ex Jealous When You Want Her Back
- How to Get Her to Fall Back in Love With You
- Can I Get Her Back? One Thing You NEED To Know
- The Ultimate FAQ Guide To Getting Back Together With Your Ex Girlfriend
- Things To Say To Your Ex Girfriend On The Phone
- Contacting Your Ex - How to Do it The Right Way
- Meeting With Your Ex When You Want Her Back
- Why Being Close With Your Ex Can Kill Your Chance to Get Her Back
- What To Say After You Get Caught Cheating
- Sleeping With Your Ex: Rules and Regulations
- Common Mistakes That Will Push Women Away
- Behaviors Women Hate - And How To Avoid Them
- How To Know If Your Girlfriend Is Cheating
- Boost Confidence! Learn How To Be An Alpha Male
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